The hour before the hospital

For as long as I remember, mostly in the last 3 to 4 years, my sleep has been terrible. Even in residency, when I was dead tired, I would wake up after 3 to 4 hours of sleep. Last year, I tried to do something. I tried to improve my sleep as well as my life as a whole. (Not my work life, my personal life.) And while I fixed my eating habits as well as my screen time, the only thing that I could not fix, or even improve, was my sleep. But one thing I was able to fix was what I do with my early morning hours. So here is the list.

1. Drink a glass of water as soon as you wake up. 2. Do a 5-minute stretch. 3. Make a cup of black cold coffee. 4. Drink it while walking around in my room.

These four have been pretty consistent for the last two years now. What broke? Well:

5. Go for a 45-minute walk or go to the gym. 6. Plan your day further. 7. Have a healthy breakfast. 8. Go to the hospital.

While I have been able to maintain the first 4 habits, the... harder ones have been... left behind.

I have been trying to restart those habits because, as much as my body disagrees, those were ultimately good for me. Well, the winter has come, and time for another winter arc is here. So we will revisit this in 6 months’ time, when we can decide together if I succeeded in restarting them or not.

Okay, so... that was... what my ideal hour before the hospital looks like.

But what does it actually look like now? Number 1 to number 4 are the same. Then I usually end up drinking a Diet Coke. (I say it is for caffeine, but I'm just addicted to it.) Then I end up doomscrolling, waiting for the time to pass till it is time to go to the hospital. Or I end up working on a paper, or a class, or some other departmental work, which I know I am just doing to avoid the real, difficult work. Is this healthy? Not really. And do I want to change it? Possibly.

Did this topic deserve an essay? Again, not really. But... I have been trying to write more and... this is just as good a topic as any. We will revisit this in six months and then see what changes. See you on the 31st of March. Ad Astra for Aspera.